lighten up

*I didn't write this. It was written by Alexis McDonald who has a really lovely, heartbreakingly honest blog called "The Wunder Year."  Her willingness to be vulnerable is remarkable. You can read her stuff here:  http://thewunderyear.wordpress.com. 



If I could lighten up a little I’d let myself sing as loudly as possible and I wouldn’t care if the neighbours overheard.

I’d jump on the bed. I would move to Paris and dye my hair a rich shade of red.

I would take deeper breaths, stay up all night, and read poetry to strangers.

I would dance. Naked. In front of a mirror. And I’d laugh at the way my flesh jiggles.

If I could lighten up a little I would take bubble baths, read more, and make decisions quickly without agonizing over the details.

I would breathe and forgive myself for making mistakes. Cheer loudly at hockey games and do cannonballs off the high diving board.

I’d paint with my feet and relish the goo sliding between my toes. I would do more work and less procrastinating. I would build sandcastles too close to the incoming tide.

I would dress up in gowns and make fake Oscar speeches, sit inside grocery carts and have someone push me down the aisles.

I would hug strangers instead of shaking their hand, kiss everyone on both cheeks, and when I laughed it would be from the depths of my joy.

I would stop complaining about the weather and get dressed in the dark.

I’d shake out my worries by shaking my soul. Rid the blues with strawberry milkshakes and stop worrying about the things I cannot control.

Maybe I’d get over all the things I can’t do, haven’t done, don’t want to do or haven’t done right. Maybe I’d throw my hands up in the air and proclaim “How fascinating” before I had the chance to knock myself down.

I would be less selfish, more selfless. Less fake, more real.

I’d take less and give more. Find strength in adversity and surrender to the unknown.

If I could lighten up a little, I would appreciate the present moment. Live straight from the heart and speak only the words that originate from the depths of my soul.

If I could lighten up a little, maybe I could help to light up the world.