i'd like to see your headstand

Louie was a really strange guy. In my memory, he had a fu manchu, but I don't really think that is possible. We worked together at a kids' summer camp. I would often watch him stroll the grounds and wonder if he was, in fact, an ancient Mongol emperor. I knew it couldn't be time travel but Louie had a mysticism about him that suggests he had alternative means.

However he got here, I am glad he did. Louie the Emperor greatly impacted my life.

We had just finished another week of camp. The kids were sent home, the cabins were swept, and the counsellors were emerging from the woodwork for a final debrief before the weekend. Louie was already sitting on the grass at our meeting spot. Well, "sitting" isn't exactly the right word. Louie was in a headstand. He had potentially been there all day, I have no idea.

I adore headstands. They are quite possibly my favourite position.  I was so excited that somebody else could do one, that I ran over and popped right up beside him. Ahh, I could feel the stress leaving my body. It seeped from my toes, through my head, and into the earth. I felt grounded and light. Sweet release!

And then somebody called out, "Stop being such a show-off!"

I know this person. I know this is a good person. I know this person is full of love and compassion and support. But it was one of those moments that we've all had. One of those moments when we say something to be funny or sarcastic but it doesn't change the fact that the words are unhelpful and unkind.

I came out of my headstand immediately. As my cheeks started to glow from embarrassment, I tucked my legs under myself and hunched my shoulders to protect my hurt. Slowly, Louie came out of his headstand, too. He turned to our mutual friend and said kindly, but matter-of-factly, "I do not like the term "show-off." It is hurtful. We are not in headstands to make you feel bad about yourself."

That was six years ago and I still carry that story in my heart. I agree with Louie. Life is not a zero-sum game. Your ability does not negate my ability. In fact, by liberating yourself from fear or shame, I am necessarily liberated to do the same. Your achievement inspires me to achieve. There may be only a few 'A's to go around in law school, but life is not law school. There is no maximum quota of excellence.

Think about it this way. If we go for a jog together and you are the better runner, that has no effect on my ability to run. I would be running the way I usually do whether you were there or not. Your superior stride has no bearing on my stride. If anything, by seeing your technique, I am given an opportunity to learn. How lucky is that?? I probably didn't even know there were other ways to run. By you being brave enough to shine as you do, I have been provided a glimpse into the realm of possibility. I am enriched by you. If we could just step outside of our egos and pre-occupation with shame, we would be liberated enough to ask for advice and to be enhanced by the exchange of ideas, thoughts, experiences, and philosophies that follow. Like a ripple effect, we pass on accumulated knowledge to the potential of the future. In the end, the world could be full of amazing runners. Or scientists. Or parents. In short, it really is the case that the world benefits from you being great.

Finally, and maybe most importantly, you're just really amazing. Are you aware of that? It's true. You are actually so awesome for being able to do a backflip/solve a rubik's cube/touch your nose with your tongue/finish all your readings before class. Enough about my benefit - seriously, you are impressive stuff. Way to go, champ. (And thanks for being brave enough to share because otherwise I would not have known.)

So go on, have courage. Show me your headstand. Shine like you're able. If you have a talent, I want to celebrate it. If you are willing to teach me, I'd be richer for the experience. Either way, you are putting something positive out there and the world is a better place for it. Thank you. We're all grateful.

Put your toes to the sky and shine, shine, shine.